I have to be honest.
This may be triggering.
I’m not writing it for anyone’s agreement. This is my direct experience. And everyone has the right to live as they wish. Yet I see something beautiful emerging from its acknowledgement.
I had been out of the country for 6 months. And in that time I’ve lived in the jungles of tulum, the volcanoes of Guatemala, and the Apus of Peru. I connected to the land, infused my ears with medicine music, ate natural foods, danced with mother nature, and became so connected to the truth of oneness that I was in a direct conversation with God in every moment of the day. My desires flowed in with ease and my receptivity was at an all time high. It was a simple form of freedom. I truly felt like I had reached a different form of reality.
When I landed back in the states, something shifted. I felt the need to protect and close. I heard the ads blaring through the loud speakers, the factory squeezed culture that felt almost like a hot dog casing moving through a conveyer belt. Concrete slabs covering the majority of cities. The cocaine infused music transmitting over the radio.
I found myself eating as if I forgot I had teeth, tuning into ads popping up every 15 minutes. News stations reading their teleprompter that 100 other stations also uploaded that morning, giving a consistent message to the people.
It felt like something had taken over. I felt this faint haze in the pace. Like things were rushing by without a second to think why. This race felt like a distraction from self.
And over 14 days, it felt as if someone had taken a vacuum and zapped the energy i had spent so long cultivating. I felt defeated.
Don’t get me wrong, I was inspired by the endless opportunity, the community I missed so dearly, the working plumbing. Yet I felt uninspired by the complete escapism and rushing nature, missing the point completely.
As I landed back in the jungle, I felt my nervous system relax for the first time in 2 weeks. I felt my breath deepen and my light come back on. And I sit here wondering, what type of world do I want to live in? If we have the chance to build a New Earth, what does that truly look like?