What Does It Mean to Trust?

His words sank deep into my body, in the way a song or dance inspires movement. And in that moment I realized, words are art just as much as any painting. It takes just as much courage to sing on stage as it does to hit send.

What does it mean to trust, I asked. If trustworthiness is a proven act over time, then trust is a bit like love. It’s risky, vulnerable, unpredictable. It becomes a choice and that choice is the greatest artwork of them all.

His response stung the back of my throat until the sweet nectar covered its bitter sting.

“One thing I realized is that most people don't trust.

They don't trust in others.

They don’t trust in themselves.

They don't trust in divine will.

- when you hire someone new

- when you make a new friendship

- when you enter a new relationship

…all those things require

1) trust in another person in order to

2) drop boundaries, be vulnerable and express your needs/desires in order to

3) be fully yourself, which ultimately is the reason why

4) others want to connect with you

Usually, trust takes time.

But that's where it gets tricky.

If trust takes time, then it needs to be proven.

If it needs to be proven, then it requires going through specific experiences that will showcase a specific behavior which will determine whether that person is "trustworthy" which take trust and vulnerability to express.

It's a vicious loop - one in which creates distrust in the world by default.

My dad tried to convince me.

My high-school friends tried to teach me.

My ex partner tried to show me.

They all reminded me on the one and only truth:

What you honor, especially in terms of fears, will always follow you. You can’t escape them, you must face them.

Try to avoid pain, and the fear of pain will be your guiding force.

So if I jump into this life journey with you...

professionally

personally

romantically

sexually

intellectually

physically

mentally

…then know that it's not a sign of craziness or randomness - rather, it's the opposite - it's a matter of conscious, deliberate, choice.

It's the choice to trust by default. It's the choice to make mistakes for the benefits of life-long wisdom.”

This is the art of choosing love.