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“What I would tell my younger self when it comes to love”

My relationship to love has exponentially shifted over the years.

In college, I was a hopeless romantic who wanted to marry the first serious boyfriend I ever dated. Post college, I was constantly heartbroken by men who wanted to explore the playing field, while I dreamed of finding my prince. My love would turn to absolute rejection and anger towards the slew of men who swept me off my feet only to land me in disappointment. Time after time. Cinderella with her missing slipper ran as my maiden’s guiding force.

Once I started exploring personal growth, these patterns started having names like abandonment and rejection wounds, which threw me down the full spectrum of studying trauma bonding, attachment theory, uncoupling and soon abundant love. A few years ago, I dove into an open relationship, testing my levels of possession and jealousy, trusting that Buddha was onto something with his detached ways of being.

What I’ve come to learn is that love is abundant. Loving one person doesn’t mean loving another less. When a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean love has to end. In fact, withholding love can feel more painful than allowing it to be. A relationship is a container or a set of agreements defining the love. As the container shifts, the love can still remain.

If I were to go back to my younger self I would say, accept love, give love, and be a force of love. Love without expectation. Love without attachment. And let love be free. You deserve the ultimate relationship container. And love will always be abundant.

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