On March 16 the world was hit with news that this virus was spreading rapidly and the European borders shutting down. That was a wake up call for me. I immediately went into a panic mode. I remember falling to my knees on the floor sobbing in fear. I started questioning every single part of my life. What am I doing with my life? Is even impactful? Why am I doing any of this? I went into a spiral of fear.
I was at a friend’s house and he made me a cacao drink infused with ashwaganda and more superfoods than I could even pronounce. Throughout the cacao ceremony I calmed down and all of my fear was suddenly channeled into inspiration.
It felt like I reached this tipping point in my fear capacity and broke through into the barrier of fearlessness. I started going live on IG and FB speaking about fear, purpose, & leadership and I started leading meditations for people to calm down, when really I was the one who needed to calm down. Before this, I never went live but there was this new sense of, if the world is ending, I’m going out with a bang. In one of my videos I remember saying, this week I’m going to be going live a lot and maybe I’ll even do a live retreat for everyone. Somehow saying that sparked an idea.
I had 5 girlfriends who were bad ass coaches and I asked them to take part in this 5 day 5 coach series. I wanted to create something that would truly help people shift emotional states. The world needed to stabilize and the government is not a great emotional support hotline. I remember pulling this oracle card called the Sacred Fool. It’s the card that says, think totally outside the box because there is something much bigger here. I sat with this card for an hour brainstorming with friends over the phone and suddenly I realized that this retreat WAS going to be a lot more all encompassing. Why not make it 5 straight days of speakers? I spent 2 years traveling the world meeting coaches in Europe and Asia. Why not ask everyone you know to be a part of this event?
Within minutes I had the date chosen for March 23. I didn’t sleep for the next few nights. There was energy pumping throughout my veins with no place to go.
I had friends in Madrid who could no longer leave their homes to take their dog for a walk and all of that panic was channeled into this project. By the end of the week I had 50 coaches, healers, psychotherapists, and spiritual teaches, a website up and running, and artists on board to perform. It was the wildest time in history I have ever lived through and this was the wildest project I had ever attempted. We hit publish and suddenly people from all over the world were signing up for this event. People in Australia, India, bali, Thailand, Europe. Every morning I would hit refresh and it would increase 50 to 100 people. By the day of the event we had over 1000 sign up - but then every single day, the event got bigger and more and more sign ups flooded in.
People seriously needed this event. It was the first time in a long time where I felt like I found my place in the world. It activated a part of me that had been dormant for so long. The part of me that remembered that anything is possible in life, even during the times when it seems like nothing is possible. I channeled my fear into purpose and reconnected with my why. And through that, I came into a deep trust of why I was placed on this planet. This event is not why I am here but it led me to remember the core of who I am. I went on to host 5 more international festivals as the world shifted into 5 different emotional phases of healing. And today CAREona Fest / Amethyst Fest will hold its final festival of 2020. This year was absolutely life changing for me. And I have so much gratitude to everyone who participated as a speaker and attendee at this event. It was more than an event for me. This event changed thousands of lives. People stepped fully into new careers as a direct result of this, people found coaches that fueled their dreams, and people shifted emotional states and gained hope for the world again.